Week 22

Week 22 - Tuesday 31^st May – Cardiff University Student’s Union, Solus, Cardiff – We Are Scientists - £14.50

“Who throws a cigarette packet?”

As with The Manics at the Motorpoint last week, this was a rare occasion for us to see a band that I’d not only heard of, but also actually like. This time it was We Are Scientists, who were playing at Cardiff University’s Solus venue, which we were visiting for the first time this year. How lovely. Here was a band that I was a fan of before they even hit the big time. Admittedly, that just means that I was completely ignorant of their first album, Safety, Fun, and Learning (In That Order), and then jumped on the bandwagon just before their successful second album With Love and Squalor was released, which was very groovy indeed.

Without being too offensive to Blackwood, We Are Scientists are from slightly more exotic climes than The Manics. They’re a trio whose two original members Chris Cain and Keith Murray hail from California originally and apparently now base themselves in New York, which I believe makes them American. The last American band I saw play were The Coathangers, so they have a lot to answer for. Their original drummer Michael Tapper, who was also an American, and presumably still is, was renowned for having a spectacular beard, but sadly it wouldn’t be on show tonight. In its place would be the slightly less impressive beard, but slightly more impressive hairdo of ex-Razorlight drummer Andy Burrows, who is an Englishman.

They’re also renowned for having a sense of humour, which has absolutely no place in Gigaweek. If you’ve ever visited their website, you’ll have noticed that it is full of helpful advice, information, and humorous anecdotes. If you haven’t visited their website, you may be aware of this anyway, having read the last sentence.

Surprisingly, they aren’t actually scientists at all, but with their furry facial hair and snazzy spectacles they were once asked if they were scientists, but regrettably answered that they were in fact musicians, a story which inspired the band’s name. I was once asked if I was Ian Beale in a nightclub, which inspired my band’s name: No, I’m Not Ian Fucking Beale You Daft Bint, although at least it made a change from being mistaken for Simon from The Inbetweeners.

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We drunk our pre-gig pints at The Woodville, where I enjoyed a pair of pears in a beer garden that I hadn’t known existed up to that point. Joining Sandro and I were the inimitable Salazar, Gavlova, Little P and Lucy D. The boys from We Are Scientists were also present, but rather than disturbing them in person, Little P decided to proposition them via Twitter. Unfortunately, her attempts were unsuccessful, but Sandro had more joy and promptly disappeared for fifteen minutes or so. There was also an airing of YMAS’ ‘Finders Keepers’ on the jukebox, which brought back some fond memories.

At Solus a fresh faced band from Nottingham called Frontiers opened for the Scientists. I’d thought they were called Francis until Gav told me the disappointing truth. The lead singer told the audience that they were Nottingham Forest fans, and reminded us that they’d shared our recent play-off misery, which was nice of him. They were dressed all in black, and they seemed like talented guitarists, although none of their songs left a lasting impression. Don’t let that put you off though, seeing as it’s coming from a man who was drunk and thought they were called Francis. 

I’m not sure whether We Are Scientists were aware of ours and Francis' footballing heartbreak, although they did release a World Cup song last year entitled ‘Goal! England’. They certainly were aware of the previous day’s Bank Holiday though, and made reference to it when they took to the stage. “I was angry, ‘cause I couldn‘t get any cash!” Murray said, while Cain revealed that it was the first Bank Holiday where he hadn’t at least tried to start a family, which was a relief to all present.

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There was plenty of audience interaction throughout, with Cain admitting his Welsh accent was closer to Scottish, but that didn’t matter. They were definitely an entertaining double act, which is to be expected from a band who called their latest album Barbara. They don’t just rely on humour alone though, and they’ve got tunes to spare.

They opened with Barbara’s ‘Nice Guys’ before an older favourite ‘This Scene is Dead’ from their first major album, and soon after played ‘Impatience’ which is one of the highlights of With Love and Squalor’s follow up, Brain Thrust Mastery. Throughout the set there was a pretty even spread of songs from their three major releases, with Barbara perhaps supplying a song or two more than the other two. There were highlights aplenty including the best of With Love and Squalor in the form of ‘Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt’ ‘Inaction’ ‘It’s A Hit’ and ‘The Great Escape’.

The best of Barbara included ‘Pittsburgh’ which is a song they dedicated to the city of Pittsburgh but as far as I could tell isn't actually about the city of Pittsburgh. Another was ‘I Don’t Bite’, a song about not being able to chew food properly, and the album’s finest ‘Rules Don’t Stop’. They turned to one of their most successful singles for their final song of the set, ‘After Hours’ which is a beautiful pop tribute to the joys of staying up ‘til gone closing time and getting trollied. It was an amazing finish and entirely appropriate for Gigaweek and for that reason alone we’ll ignore the fact that they returned for a one song encore of ‘Central AC’, especially considering hardly anyone present knew the song, and therefore most were a tad underwhelmed.

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We then retired to The Pen & Wig for a couple of quiet pears to finish the night with. Little P had an early start the next day and she and Lucy D took their leave, a disastrous decision as it meant that they missed the Gallagheresque incident that followed.

Gavlova, Salazar, Sandro and I were sat drinking quietly outside, and without warning or provocation, Sandro made the perfectly rational decision to throw an ice cube at my forehead. Now, of course I can completely understand why anyone would feel compelled to do such a thing, and accepting that this was perfectly normal behaviour, I definitely didn’t react in any way, and absolutely did not call him “a fat pleb” in retaliation.

A few minutes later, Sandro ‘accidentally’ kicked the table we were sat at. The resultant aftershocks sent Sal’s drink flying, while my tumbler also took a tumble, and only my cat-like reactions saved half of the remaining contents, while my jeans cleverly absorbed the other half. Gavlova, whose reactions have been measured to be even faster than most cats, managed to save his drink entirely, or maybe he had just been tipped off. . .

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Was it just clumsy, or was it deliberate? Sandro isn’t renowned for his clumsiness, but he is renowned for his deliberateness. Nevertheless, he claimed it was an accident, and being such a magnanimous soul, in no way did I chastise him for his clumsiness, or accuse him of any wrongdoing. Instead I forgave him instantly, and then I saved a small child’s life and gave an orphan boy a home.

But then out of the blue Sandro launched an empty cigarette packet at my head, causing blood to spray out horrifically. He’d aimed the hazardous cigarette packet at the small child but I’d bravely thrown my body on the line, and saved the small child’s life for the second time in as many minutes.

Confused by this latest act of terror, I demanded answers.

“Ow! That really hurt! Why would you do that Sandro?” I asked in shock,

“Why not?” he replied,

“You could have had my eye out, or seriously bruised my cheek!” I said reasonably, “Honestly! Who throws a cigarette Packet? You fight like a girl,”

“I agree it’s not exactly a shoe, but I’m wearing flip-flops so I didn’t have that option.”

This explanation didn’t satisfy me, so I returned fire with the remainder of my glass of pear cider, aiming for the crotch area. In spite of the small target, it was a bull’s-eye, which left Sandro fuming, and with steam coming out of his ears.

“We’ll call it even then,” I said, before I realised I had some hugely important charity work to take care of, and dashed out of the exit, dodging dozens of empty cigarette packets as I went.

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May

30-6 - Camden Crawl  - ✓
7-13 - Devlin - ✓
14-20 - Beatles For Sale - ✓
21-27 - Manic Street Preachers - ✓
28-3 - We Are Scientists - ✓