Week 6 – Tuesday 8th February 2011 – Clwb Ifor Bach, Cardiff – Jonny - £10
“I haven’t seen such an unappealing and unattractive stage since we saw La Roux live. . .”
Sandro’s words were not a reflection on the physical appearances of Euros Childs or Norman Blake (although they aren’t exactly Girls Aloud - as much as they try to be), but in reference to the fact that from our position, neither of them were visible at all.
His words were of course a reflection on the physical appearance of La Roux, and being an honourable, upstanding, and respectable gentleman, I felt compelled to tell him that he shouldn’t have judged her based solely on her looks.
“Remember, her music was shit too.”
Her hair had been impressive though. In fact her red spike rose so high we’d probably have seen it had she been sat on one of the chairs on stage tonight.
His words were of course a reflection on the physical appearance of La Roux, and being an honourable, upstanding, and respectable gentleman, I felt compelled to tell him that he shouldn’t have judged her based solely on her looks.
“Remember, her music was shit too.”
Her hair had been impressive though. In fact her red spike rose so high we’d probably have seen it had she been sat on one of the chairs on stage tonight.
Instead, sat on those chairs were Jonny, a Celtic musical partnership between the aforementioned Euros and Norman of Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci and Teenage Fan Club fame respectively, and Sandro and I had returned to Clwb Ifor Bach to see them.
The duo have just released a self-titled debut album that follows an EP that’s available to download for free, inventively named Free EP.
The duo have just released a self-titled debut album that follows an EP that’s available to download for free, inventively named Free EP.
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It was almost certainly going to be cheaper than last week’s gig. Despite suggestions to the contrary, I was genuinely disappointed, upset and peeved, yes even peeved, that I’d lost my sister’s iPod, not least because it would impact on my pocket significantly. That I refer to the effect on my wallet, rather than my sister’s feelings may seem selfish and stingy, but that’s not why I say so.
Ultimately, an iPod is an iPod. It can be replaced, as can the music contained on it.
Aah, so it was a birthday present, la de da.
So it had your name engraved on it, boo hoo.
So you had a very personal and sentimental message engraved on it, from someone very close whose life was then tragically cut short in a horrendous bungee jumping accident. Well, that is horrible, I’m very sorry for your loss, but that’s completely different to this scenario.
Aah, so it was a birthday present, la de da.
So it had your name engraved on it, boo hoo.
So you had a very personal and sentimental message engraved on it, from someone very close whose life was then tragically cut short in a horrendous bungee jumping accident. Well, that is horrible, I’m very sorry for your loss, but that’s completely different to this scenario.
Yes, my sister had her name engraved on the back, and yes, it was a present, but there was no bungee jumping. I’m just thinking practically and logically, neither of those things matter to you when you’re using it to listen to music. And yes, I am selfish and stingy.
Whether it was important or not, it was gonna cost me money to replace the iPod. I’d not fully appreciated the value of eBay until now. I found the right model in the right colour, for half of what I thought I’d have to spend, and although it was used, the scratches were only described as “Thick and Unsightly” rather than “Fatal and Important” and I knew my sister wouldn’t mind the engraved message of, “To Louise, Hugs and Kisses from your true love, ‘Ginger Balls’ Warren xxx”
Would she? These were cosmetic issues, and judging from my sister’s appearance when she heads outdoors, such things don’t concern her at all. She's called Ugly Betty for a reason.
Would she? These were cosmetic issues, and judging from my sister’s appearance when she heads outdoors, such things don’t concern her at all. She's called Ugly Betty for a reason.
Shit brother? Moi?
If you wondered why I’d been borrowing my sister’s iPod in the first place, you may not be surprised to learn it was because I’d broken my own a couple of months ago.
How was I to know I couldn’t use it while swimming?
How was I to know I couldn’t use it while swimming?
Suffice to say she wasn’t planning on lending me her new one, which meant the padlock on my wallet had to come off again, and I purchased one for myself too (this time the engraving read, ‘Don’t come near me Ginger Balls!')
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This week the Rummer Tavern and Dempsey’s took turns in providing us with pre-gig pints. At Dempsey’s we saw the first half of Gary Speed’s first match in charge of Wales’ coveted and prized football team, as we took on the Republic of Ireland in Dublin.
As any true Welsh football fan knows, watching Wales is a form of masochism. You know you’re not gonna enjoy it, and you’ll only end up getting hurt, but you just have to watch. Without being too disrespectful to our boys, who’re far better than me and have made it to International level after all, you’d usually fancy a team of our injured players, crutches and all, to get the better of the one we manage to get on the pitch, and this game was no different.
As any true Welsh football fan knows, watching Wales is a form of masochism. You know you’re not gonna enjoy it, and you’ll only end up getting hurt, but you just have to watch. Without being too disrespectful to our boys, who’re far better than me and have made it to International level after all, you’d usually fancy a team of our injured players, crutches and all, to get the better of the one we manage to get on the pitch, and this game was no different.
To be fair, it was 0-0 at half-time and if anything we’d been marginally the better side, in an admittedly dull game. Thankfully we had a good reason not to endure the second half, and we headed to Clwb, with me confidently predicting a storming second half that we’d regret missing, in which Wales turned on the style and demolished the Irish 3-0.
It’ll happen one day, sadly not this day, as our match updates via text from P. Mushy confirmed.
It’ll happen one day, sadly not this day, as our match updates via text from P. Mushy confirmed.
When we turned up at Clwb, the cloak room was unmanned, which meant we’d inevitably be joined by our old friend Betty Swallocks at some point. Sandro commented that there were a healthy number of unhealthy looking gig-goers already there, the majority of whom seemed to be either middle aged or bald, or more often both. In fact I may have been the youngest person there, and certainly the youngest looking. Even most of the women had more facial hair than me.
We even glimpsed Super Furry Animal and proper Cardiff City fan Guto Pryce who, as promised, was carrying a little pick and shovel.
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Support for Jonny was provided by curly haired Welshman Huw M. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to listen to much of his music, but Sandro swore he recognized him.
“I’m sure I must have had a beer with him or something, at some point,” he said scratching his head.
“That narrows it down,” I replied.
Huw M is a Welsh-Speaking folk musician, who last year released his debut album of Welsh language songs called Os Mewn Sŵn, showed off his bilingual qualities and his North Walian accent between the songs we did hear.
When you (meaning ‘I’) write even a sentence about music, there’s always a danger that you’ll use words you’d never usually use in conversation like ‘Sonically’, ‘Aurally’, ‘Melodic’ or ‘Bristolian.’
Sonically speaking, Huw M was superb. Aurally, he was awesome, with his melodic tunes perfectly befitting the occasion and did you know, he’s not even a Bristolian?
(In case you weren't sure, that made perfect sense, was completely relevant, and if you didn’t understand it, I fart in your general direction. You probably can’t even tell me the difference between sonically and aurally can you? Pathetic.)
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Moving swiftly on, we were less than ideally placed toward the back of the room, as Jonny took to their chairs on stage. The gig was a sell out and by this point Clwb was positively heaving, and there were plenty of others in similarly poor vantage points to myself and Sandro.
In fairness to Jonny, the chairs weren’t solely required because Norman is in his mid-forties, but also because of the various gizmos they would call upon throughout the gig. With no backing band, in addition to their guitars, the duo would also be operating a drum machine, keyboards and maybe more for all I could see.
In fairness to Jonny, the chairs weren’t solely required because Norman is in his mid-forties, but also because of the various gizmos they would call upon throughout the gig. With no backing band, in addition to their guitars, the duo would also be operating a drum machine, keyboards and maybe more for all I could see.
Both Euros and Norman were clearly aware of the predicament of those at the back, as they made lighthearted suggestions as possible solutions. Norman proposed the provision of platform shoes of increasing height the further back you stood, while Euros’ idea was to install a sloping floor, increasing in gradient the further you went from the stage. “Or you could stand up!” was the more practical suggestion from one of the more vocal fans stood nearby.
Strangely, the lack of visual stimuli did detract from the enjoyment of the gig slightly. Aurally (I knew I could cram it in again) it made no difference of course, and when you go to see two serious musicians such as these you’d have thought that would be the be-all and end-all, but I suppose one of the attractions of live music is seeing how those sounds are made. Staring at the back of Sandro’s head wasn’t quite the same.
Jonny opened with Euros taking the vocal lead on a song from their album that displays their deep rooted desire to break into the top forty. It was a song in praise of bakers and the wonders of bread, which is its title. “Hats off to those who make bread!” Euros sang to universal approval among the bread loving audience. With a catchy keyboard riff and mentions of dough, toast, granary and butter, and a touching slower verse toward the end where Euros relates a dream, no, a nightmare he had, about a land where the citizens have no bread at all, the song can’t fail.
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The two continued to show their sense of humour throughout the gig. In addition to their playful lyrics, there were song restarts, usually because of the tempo setting on the drum machine, and plenty of teasing between songs. One minor gripe I had was with the drum machine itself. As great an invention as it is, you can’t beat a real drummer to set the rhythm. They may be more difficult to travel round with or cram in a suit case but still.
Jonny's first single, 'Candyfloss', is a beauty, lyrically and musically. Candyfloss is the name of the elusive blue eyed girl who is the subject of the song. “Someday soon, I’m gonna know where she goes,” they sing, before suggesting Mexico, Japan and Fishguard as possibilities. “I don’t know where she goes,” they repeat over and over at the song’s climax.
“If she’s got any sense, she’ll steer clear of Fishguard,” Sandro said, shaking his head bitterly. He’s never told me the secret behind his loathing of Fishguard, perhaps I’ll never know. . .
“If she’s got any sense, she’ll steer clear of Fishguard,” Sandro said, shaking his head bitterly. He’s never told me the secret behind his loathing of Fishguard, perhaps I’ll never know. . .
Prior to playing the glorious 'Gloria' from their free EP, Euros told the crowd how it had been inspired by Gloria Estefan.
“For those of you who are too young to know her, she was like Jennifer Lopez. . . But not as good,” he quipped. Sandro confirmed his knowledge of Estefan’s work (he’s got all her albums) by mentioning the Miami Sound Machine, which Norman then duly endorsed in the song.
“For those of you who are too young to know her, she was like Jennifer Lopez. . . But not as good,” he quipped. Sandro confirmed his knowledge of Estefan’s work (he’s got all her albums) by mentioning the Miami Sound Machine, which Norman then duly endorsed in the song.
Jonny have some lovely songs, but they’re definitely growers. You need to invest time (which I have in spades) in these songs to get the most of them, and the ambling nature of many of their tunes took their toll on the interest of some members of the audience. As Sandro pointed out, at times Jonny became background music to people’s conversations, which was distracting to us and was a bit of a shame, particularly as I didn’t really want to talk to Sandro.
Among these slower songs though, are some of their best, such as 'Gloria' or 'Circling the Sun' or their cover of sixties song by The 23rd Turnoff, 'Michaelangelo.' They also have songs in their arsenal that raise the tempo when required.
“Has she got a green nose? Well, I suppose,” Euros sings on 'Wich is Wich' which is one of those. 'Goldmine' also rattles along for two and a half minutes with exciting talk of digging, and there is the incomparable 'Cave Dance' in which Jonny implore us to go “Ding dong crazy like the prehistoric clown” and “Do the Cave Dance!”
'Cave Dance' is essentially two songs in one, firstly a two minute stomp, followed by eight minutes of gentle meandering, and has the potential to be a ten year craze if someone in the pop world gets wind of it and feels like doing the cave dance.
“Has she got a green nose? Well, I suppose,” Euros sings on 'Wich is Wich' which is one of those. 'Goldmine' also rattles along for two and a half minutes with exciting talk of digging, and there is the incomparable 'Cave Dance' in which Jonny implore us to go “Ding dong crazy like the prehistoric clown” and “Do the Cave Dance!”
'Cave Dance' is essentially two songs in one, firstly a two minute stomp, followed by eight minutes of gentle meandering, and has the potential to be a ten year craze if someone in the pop world gets wind of it and feels like doing the cave dance.
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Their encore consisted of Teenage Fan Club’s beautiful 'I don’t want control of you' and Gorky’s, 'Spanish Dance Troupe' which both regained everyone’s full attention and were very well received, before they finished with a cover of a song by the Everly Brothers, or maybe the Beverley Sisters.
Whoever it was, the song was a bit slower than the kind of closer my unrefined ears usually listen out for. Before leaving, we noticed both Euros and Norman take positions by the door, looking as though they would take part in selling their own merchandise, and I was left feeling sleepy but more than satisfied, safe in the knowledge that I’d get more than four hours sleep tonight.
Whoever it was, the song was a bit slower than the kind of closer my unrefined ears usually listen out for. Before leaving, we noticed both Euros and Norman take positions by the door, looking as though they would take part in selling their own merchandise, and I was left feeling sleepy but more than satisfied, safe in the knowledge that I’d get more than four hours sleep tonight.
Except, I had a nagging feeling I’d forgotten something. . .
I checked all my pockets.
I racked my brain.
I examined Sandro.
I cross-examined Sandro.
I retraced my steps and thoughts, looking for the key to the right memory.
What was it I’d forgotten this time?
Then it hit me.
“KEVIN!!!” I squealed at the top of my voice.
“You don’t know a Kevin,” Sandro responded.
“Oh. Thank fuck for that.”
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February
29-4 - The Joy Formidable - ✓
29-4 - The Joy Formidable - ✓
5-11 – Jonny - ✓
12-18 - NME Shockwaves Tour (Crystal Castles, Magnetic Man, Everything, Everything, The Vaccines)
19-25 –Les Savy Fav
12-18 - NME Shockwaves Tour (Crystal Castles, Magnetic Man, Everything, Everything, The Vaccines)
19-25 –Les Savy Fav
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